it occurs to me that it’s the not-smoking.  this inability to get into The Zone, that is.  see, once upon a time, i had a wisdom tooth removed.  i know – explains a lot, right?  even more when you hear that i only actually have one wisdom tooth left in my head.  but i digress.  anyone who’s ever had a major extraction will likely remember what your mouth feels like afterards.  the pain, the bloody drool, the awkwardness of it.  the not-being-able-to-smoke…

yep.  i went through a short period of non-smoking before.  for three days, i couldn’t.  physically, i was unable to smoke.  but i found that i didn’t really miss it as much as i thought i would.  so i thought i’d give it a go.  see how long i could go before i gave in.  i lasted until the first time i got drunk.  however, in the ten intervening days, my concentration was shot to hell.  i couldn’t read, or knit, or settle to anything for long.

and my concentration has been shot to hell this time, too, though obviously for a longer period.  it’s not completely the quitting, but it’s a big factor.  i’m also out of the habit of reading, and writing.

and tonight, i have a toothache, too.  in a molar next to a big gap left by another molar that had to be extracted before.  i really, really don’t want to have to lose any more teeth.  i’m hoping it goes away….