so…  the reason for the ponderings of the last post can (almost) be summed up in one word:  erotica

that’s where it starts, anyway.  yup – there’s this whole erotic world out there, and i find it utterly. utterly. fascinating.  i’ve been slowly discovering its existence for…oooh…  maybe a year?  year and a half?  something like that.  anyway, i think Tom Lehrer sums up my feelings about it pretty well here:

not just the vanilla stuff, either. the kink, too, has me fascinated.  eyes wide and shining, i read about the extraordinary alternative lifestyles that people lead. and i talk to them, and discover that, hey – they’re not all cartoon characters spouting bad dialogue and posturing in a ridiculous manner.  they’re real, complex, and often quite lovely people – open and warm and funny.  although to be fair, people are just people, and the delightful world of alternative sexuality has it’s share of unintentional comedians, just like any other sphere.  but in talking to many people across this wide and beautiful spectrum, and reading about it more (the blogs – oh, the blogs feed my mind at a gluttonous rate!), there is so much healthy openness going on here – so much sunshine shone into what societal structures i no longer subscribe to have previously suppressed as bad/dirty/taboo/whatthefuckever…  it often makes my heart swell with joy.

seriously – these are just people being people, as hard as they can.  often fucking up, and having trauma, but just as often bouncing back and getting on with their lives and loves and just …well…  being people.

if the world of erotica appreciators and erotica writers and other writers (whatever their favoured genre – or not) and kinksters and vanillabeans and everyone in between has taught me anything, it is that people are people, and i am often at fault for making judgements and assumptions.  the world needs more openness, and more respect, and more, well…  people ought to mind their own business more, frankly.  i am an athiest, but i have pagan tendencies.  and i try (and fail very, very often) to live by one of the central pagan tenets:

an it harm none, do what ye will

i try to do this every day.  and it’s hard, so hard not to be judgmental – to be more acepting of people and their faults and foibles.  to see the positive in people and situations, rather than the negative.

look, i’m sorry this is a long, rambling, and slightly nonsensical post, but you should probably expect more of these.

oh, and i have a request.

since i’m not going to start the anonymous blog, i’m going to keep Dazedeye, i would like you, if i (thoughtlessly or otherwise) manage to offend you, please to let me know in an informative and measured way.  i will then either be mortified and apologise profusely, or i will thank you for letting me know and be sad that i have offended you, but continue to post content that offends you (albeit possibly with warnings where appropriate).  but in the spirit of openness, i have decided that this is the one place in the world that is mine, and mine alone, and i shall grit my teeth and write what i feel i need to. and whether it be fiction or nonfiction, sometimes it will be thoughtless and/or random idiocy.  sometimes, it will be something that affects me deeply.  it’s entirely possible that the casual observer will be unable to tell the difference.  but i suspect that there will be acts of courage in my writing future, even if they are only small ones.

there is only one subscriber to this blog who genuinely knows me in real life, and i consider her a good friend, and know she won’t judge me on what i write here.  the rest of you will likely only ever see my internet face, and that can, really, be whatever i want it to, can’t it?  you can judge me if you wish, but i suspect that most of you wouldn’t either.  those that do?  that’s your perrogative, and you are welcome to it.

all i ask, reader, is be kind if you can, and constructive if you can’t.

thanks.

XXX

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