today’s fifteen minutes was inspired by the lovely @RemittanceGirl, and the (apparently not-so-lovely) book 50 Shades Of Shit Grey, and it’s author’s apparent inability to write convincingly kinky sex in a BDSM themed romance.  here is the challenge RG issued:

Have a go at writing the exact same sex act, using nothing but the tone of language and the POV of the narrator to present it as either kinky or vanilla.

well, i’ve had a go.  not sure if i’ve nailed it, to be honest. would very much appreciate feedback on this.  as always, negative and positive criticism are always welcome, as long as they’re constructive.

***

I see you, lying back on those twisted hotel sheets.  I know you haven’t been sleeping well.  You never do when we’re apart, and you told me so, during our phone call last night.  Blue-grey dawn is beginning to seep through the too-thin curtains as you groan and reach for a small bundle of satin and lace that is resting on the pillow next to your head.  Bringing it to your face, you bury your nose and inhale deeply.  A memento, you said, when you asked me for them.  I blushingly peeled them from my body – still wet from the orgasm you had given me as I sat astride your face – and passed them to you, so you could at least take my scent with you.

Now I see you, in my mind’s eye.  Rubbing my scent all over your engorged cock.  Pumping your hips and tugging at your balls and calling my name into the pre-dawn gloaming as you come in thick, hot spurts all over your belly.

I miss you, my sweet.  Come home soon.

***

I see you, lying back on those twisted hotel sheets.  I know you haven’t been sleeping well.  You never do when you have to go away from me, and you told me so during our last nightly phonecall.  Blue-grey dawn is beginning to seep through the too-thin curtains as you groan and reach for a small bundle of satin and lace that is resting on the pillow next to your head.  Bringing it to your face, you bury your nose and inhale deeply, reverently.  A memento, you said, when you blushingly begged me for them.  I peeled them from my body – still wet from the orgasm I took from you as I ground my cunt into your face – and gave them to you, to remind you of who and what we are.

Now I see you, in my mind’s eye.  Rubbing my scent all over your engorged cock, the scratchy lace causing discomfort and ecstasy in equal measure.  Pumping your hips and tugging hard and painfully at your balls and calling my name into the pre-dawn gloaming as you come in thick, hot spurts all over your belly.

I miss you, my pet.  Come home soon.

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